Let's Play a Game and Talk About World Peace

I was reading some of my Kite's old blog posts and I know most of you don't read both of our blogs and whatnot but I just wanted to clarify that before Kite was piercing her own ears--I was teaching her how to do it. I just thought of that because I just took out all of my earrings and created a small mountain on my desk in front of me.

Alright--today we are going to play a game. The following is a list of news stories. Which ones are true, which ones are false.

1. Obama bumps his head.
2. Tolstoy's tomb found emptied by grave robbers.
3. Man, 47 marries girl, 8.
4. Low rainfall produces llama anxieties in Peru.
5. Plane crash victim follows light beam to safety.
6. Terrorists bomb San Fransisco sushi bar.
7. Whales a highlight of aquarium yoga class.
8. Low acid diet may prove effective in combatting cancer.
9. Fans serious about porn star for senate.
10. Blink 182 plans reunion.

Ok--quick write down your answers and get ready.






The odd numbers are all true....and the even ones are all false with one exception. Now we will discuss.

1. Obama bumps his head.
This sort of reminds me of a few years ago when George Bush choked on a pretzel during the superbowl and it made national news. That made me wonder how many hundreds of people in the world choke on pretzels on superbowl night, leading to how many pretzels Americans actually eat on superbowl night, leading to why the heck George Bush was eating pretzels in the first place when, as president, he probably could have been eating something much more interesting and delicious....like something involving seven different kinds of cheese...unless--do you think that George Bush is lactose intolerant!??!?! And if George Bush is lactose intolerant what hasn't that made national news? If any American choked on a pretzel it would not be a headliner, it would be boring. They could just publish a few pages of names of people who choked on pretzels. It should definately be headlined that George Bush is lactose intolerant. .......I think that I should also bring into consideration that the bumping of Obama's head might reduce his abilities to be president. We can blame anything bad on his head injury.

2. Tolstoy's tomb found emptied by grave robbers.
I made this one up...but I do believe that it would be a most thrilling hypothetical situation.

3. Man, 47 marries girl, 8.
Yeah--this is real. I watched the video on CNN. You can watch it too if you really want but I'll sum it up here. THIS IS DISGUSTING! My SISTER is eight and--UGH!--I can't even think about it. This girl was given in marriage in order to pay off her father's debt. Some cases of arranged marriage I'm ok with. In some places kids get married at thirteen or fifteen or whatever but then they continue to be nurtured by a family and usually there is not a forty year age gap between them. This is just SICK! What sort of pervert would want to marry an eight year old? She's just a little girl, probably scared out of her mind. And, while he had to sign a thing that said he wouldn't have sex with her until she hits puberty--she is still not being nurtured and brought up by a mom and dad and she's tied for life to this creepy old man and who knows what he's going to do to her! This really grosses me out. Our world's got issues.

4. Low rainfall produces llama anxieties in Peru.
I was a little bit fond of this one...partially because I love llamas, and partially because I love Peru. Peruvian food is actually really good.

5. Plane crash victims follow light beam to safety.
I didn't actually read this one, I just thought it sounded funny so I stole the headline. I did find it interesting that i can't seem to spell the word safety. I forget the e 96% of the time.

6. Terrorists bomb San Fransisco sushi bar.
I made this one up. What a waste it would have been. Good sushi should not be wasted.

7. Whales a highlight of aquarium yoga class.
This inspired pictures of humpbacks, blues, and great whites all humming together in harmony while they flexed and stretched to the essence of sea breeze and the sounds of wind and waves. I love it.

8. Low acid diet may prove effective in combatting cancer.
This should be news. It's true. My friend's dad did not do chemo, he just sticks to a very strict low acid diet and his cancer is in complete remission. Something to do with how cancer can only survive with enough acid in your system....a lot of times there are better ways to do things than treating your body with harsh chemicals.

9. Fans serious about porn star for senate.
And they wonder why I have issues respecting people. I do not want a senator who has been in front of a camera naked. I want a senator with integrity, modesty, and dignity. This disgusts me about society. UGH!

10. Blink 182 plans reunion.



The time has come my friends, I DID NOT MAKE THIS ONE UP!!!!!! Is that not the most deliciously fantastic news you have ever heard? I LOVE it! LOVE it!

So....the former president is lactose intolerant, grave robbers are getting desperate, lots of people are perverted, Peruvian food is delicious, safety has an e in it, good sushi is too often wasted, I am not wasted, yoga and sealife are invigorating, cancer is taking over the world, people have poor judgment and little dignity, and society is screwed up.....BUT BLINK 182 IS REUNING!!!!