Saturday, February 21, 2009


I was in the lounge.
I was trying to draw.
I made a joke that might have been a little bit about sex.
Everyone laughed.
I resumed drawing and making jokes.
More people came into the lounge.
They started to watch a movie.
They turned off the lights.
You cannot draw with the lights off.
It doesn't work.

I'm screwed.

10 things we could do to make The Lord of the Rings into a really great horror movie

1. Give the Nazgul the ability to fly and be able to suck the blood out of hobbits and elves.
2. Give Saruman a chainsaw and set him loose in Hobbiton.
3. Make up a character for the girl from Saw (Amanda?) and put her in Saruman's tower along with the reverse bear trap device.
4. Make the orcs all eat each other on screen.
5. Make all the dead people come out of the dead marshes and begin chasing Sam and Frodo around until they fall into some body of water and drown.
6. Gimli and Legolas should be in a constant state of cutting off pieces of each others' flesh
7. Some kind of soul sucking ghost should haunt Aragorn after the death of Gandalf.
8.Give Eowyn the ability to see spirits.
9. In the final movie the king of Gondor should try to dispose of his son (Faramir who is almost dead but not really) by putting his body through some kind of twisted torture machine. Gandalf could stop this by throwing the king into his own machine and saving Faramir.
10. Insert gremlins.

I'm still screwed.

1 comment:

Genevieve said...

Insert gremlins would do it. Or maybe leprechauns?