Friday, April 24, 2009

Banquet Night at School and all that Ensued

1. I got out of class at one, helped decorate the J.W. Center
2. Cleaned the stairs in my dorm because they were DIIIIIRRRRRTY.
3. Worked my magic on the hair of two of my friends
4. Fell down the stairs.
5. Made my hair stand on end. (Faux Hawk Style)
6. Put on my friend's dress (I didn't want to wear any of my own)
7. Jumped into Greg's car and drove to the park to take photos
8. Back to the J.W. Center.

9. Surprised Meggie with a camera.

10. This is my date to banquet. His name is Chuck Henry. In this photo he is rawkin' my aviators.
11. Posed for a million photos
12. Fell in love with Mollie's oh-so-'80's blue dress, as well as her face, as well as her...everything, as well as her boyfriend's ducktape suit jacket.
14. Took a picture with Robbie who is practically my twin only a foot and a half taller.
15. MMMM!!!! The highlight of my evening. My favorite friend in the dorm, and my lovely hunk of a date.
16. Watched a scandelous movie
I wore:
greenish dress
spikey hair
plaid chuck taylors
lots of bracelets
blackbird necklace
circle and dots wrist tattoo
LOTS of make-up

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Raindances Anger Thor When He Is Not Allowed To Send Rain On the Ladies' Tea

On Saturday I was with some friends and offered to show them the very effective rain dance which I created last summer. I performed this dance for them by the pond on campus under the glaring sunlight of the mid afternoon. Lovely.

No rain Saturday.

No rain Sunday.

I decided that this was because of the outdoor tea that some girls were doing on campus on Sunday afternoon. The weather gods (probably Thor) had to hold back so that the girls could go through with their plans. I feel like this rather angered Thor, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would love holding back once weather has been danced for.

He sent sleet for Saturday.

He sent wind for Sunday.

We survived a monsoon yesterday.

I hold myself personally responsible.

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Yesterday after dinner my friend Andrea and I went for a walk.

While we were walking past the pond we found my friend, Emily sitting on a bench.

She joined us and we walked for miles. Then we walked back.

On the way back we decided that smoothies were delicious.

Then we went to the grocery store to buy stuff for smoothies
White Grape Juice
And I brewed green tea.

We stole ice from my Resident Director.

Smoothies--top floor of W Dorm. WE WIN!!!!!

Life with friends is delicious.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Things that happen...

Christian girls who Irish Character Hip-Hop....Nuff said.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Complicated Intricate Relationship That I Have With Ethan, His Questions, Music, and Girlfriend.

I was driving somewhere with my friend, Ethan, the other day and at one point he turned to me and said, "Danny, why do you keep your hair short? I'll bet it would look really pretty long."

"Ethan," I said, "I like my hair short. That is why I keep it that way."

That was the end of the conversation. I forgot about it until about ten minutes later when I burst into tears.

I hate PMS.

Ethan and I are diverse and ironic.

The trip there we sang along with Taylor Swift (we both knew all the words) and the way back we listened to Marilyn Manson and talked about how much he creeps both of us out.

His girlfriend tells him to hang up with her and talk to me.


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Pixie cuts are boring. I'm growing out and going scene.


Oh...and my jacket came today. It is utterly delicious. Pic up soon. Also a pic of my Irish Dancers.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

SPRING BREAK!!!! before and after

10 Things I Did Over Spring Break

1. Drank honeydew bubble tea
2. Went to community college art class
3. Walked five miles up a hill
4. Got lost...twice
5. Took the bus
6. Drove my Jeep (Joe)
7. Spent more than an hour in the bead store
8. Spent a long time looking at Burton snowboard jackets
9. Made lasagna completely from scratch right down to the pasta
10. Fought with my elder sister

Post spring break

1. I have a friend whose boyfriend is a pro snowboarder. He is sponsored by Burton and gets her all of this awesome Burton wear which is stylish, functional, warm, and makes me obscenely jealous. I spent a long time in the Burton store back home wishing that I had money to buy a stylish, functional, warm jacket to replace the one I have with only 60g insulation. I recieved a massive donation the day before I came back to school. #1 thing on my mind: ha--Burton Snowboard Jacket. I got online and bought this little beauty.
I should probably have put the money toward my school bill or something buuuuut I am transferring schools next year and going up north to an institute in the mountains. I'm excited but my 60g jacket and peacoat will not cut the wintry tempetures. This baby has a slew of pockets, 100g insulation, powderskirt, faux fur lined, fitted, stylish, etc,etc,etc. LOVE!!!
2. My elder sister's name is Elsa. She is almost as stylish as me. Recently, she cut her hair short...shorter than mine. So--I, being the competitive, annoying younger sister, got out my scissors last night and gave myself a pixie cut....realizing this morning that it's almost the exact pixie cut that Elsa has.
3. I am wrapping up application to my next school. My admissions counselour was an awesome Mexican guy named Steve who is funny, has a cute girlfriend, and played soccer with orphans in El Salvador over spring break. Somehow this changed. I got a call from the school this week to ask me a question about something and it was not Awesome was a former friend of mine who I haven't spoken to in several weeks....AWKWARD. Even more awkward-- he called me again the next day to tell me that I had been accepted....yeah--awkward. I want Steve back.
4. Spring is springing and my allergies might kill me.
5. I've been teaching a few of my friends how to Irish Dance. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Are you afraid?

I drew pictures of monsters in my class notes. Watch out. They're the stuff of nightmares.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

New York City

I just returned from my trip to New York City yesterday. The trip kind of fused with my Spring Break.

What a place. It was only my second trip there and I stand amazed at the sheer number of people and the general intensity of every aspect of life. It was pretty freaking sweet. I trawled through Fifth Ave....and drooled a lot over the simply glorious amount of clothing. Anthropology, Free People, Juicy Couture....oh dang oh dang oh many places to spend the money I do not have.

Alright, so the reason I went to New York was not to empty my wallet (or my bank account). The reason I went was for a photography project for one of my classes. It was a blast and a half.
One thing that I have learned from this class:
You do not have to be a good photographer to make a good picture. All you need is good photo editing software. I am posting some of my finds to show off my trip. ha.

This is not the best photo, but I loved it because it struck a chord for us bass players everywhere!

Can you say PINK BIKE!!!! HECK YES!!!!
Whoever Mitar and Skippy are, I have deep admiration both for having names like that and for having their love eternally graven into the railing in Central Park.I loved the ornate building housing a business where one might find anything you could want. Turkish food, magazines, and Marlboros.
Myself by the Metro elevator.Myself standing before the city bustle. It had been raining and my hair is no longer straight, but I am still a pretty darn good looking person. We're set!

Friday, March 20, 2009


Some guy at work smacked my butt last night. I did not swear at him. I did smack him. My manager yelled at me.

But I still have my job.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Industrial Bar

I did it. I sucked it up and performed an industrial piercing on myself using a g10 stainless steel piercing needle and a lot of hydrogen peroxide. Afterward I thought about putting hoops in the new piercings but refrained because the posts are curved and putting curved posts in new piercings tends to be not only unpleasant, but bloody and painful. Ew. Sooo....I left the needle in the piercing for several days to give it a chance to heal. Once the swelling went down I went to my local tattoo place and purchased a g14 stainless steel industrial bar. I want to find a wooden one. My friend has one and it is simply beautiful. My dear cousin Kite was with me when I finally got around to replacing the needle with the actual bar. I had to swap it for my g12 piercing earrings before I could actually get the g14 bar through both holes. But dare I say, with minimal pain and only slight amounts of blood, I now have a lovely metal bar through the top of my ear. My ninth piercing. WOOHOO!!! Two more planned...but who knows what will happen.

Why are needles so addictive? I mean, I know why scientifically...but whatever possesses us to think that sticking a needle through our skin might actually be a good idea? *shrugs*

Ten Awesome Names I Have Given Animals
1. Norma Jean (beta fish)
2. Jemima (beige rat)
3. Chuck (beta fish)
4. Cyrus (snake)
5. Prometheus (tarantula)
6. Hermes (siamese cat)
7. Delia (beta fish)
8. Stanley (beta fish)
9. Roger (mouse)
10. Melissa (turtle)

Seven Stupid Names Other People Have Given Animals
1. Buddy (i have wittnessed this name on three hamsters and four dogs)
2. Buster (again, two dogs and a cat)
3. Bruiser (dog, what does that even mean?)
4. Fluffy (i actually know a cat which bears this label)
5. Cleo 1-9 (my sister's nine goldfish...they all had the same name)
6. Blackie, Whitie, and Brownie (three hamsters. guess what colors they were)
7. Cocoa (a chocolate lab...that's original)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Grilled Cheese

It seems that I have proven to be quite photogenic.

My friend dragged me through the snowy forest to the cemetary the other day in order to take approximately two hundred photos of me. It was severely exhausting. I then spent three hours editing them to make them look good.

Ten things:

1. Thermostat--needs to be turned up. It is frigid in here.
2. Easel--I think I spelled that wrong.
3. Pen--just blew up on my hands. Ew.
4. Geese--are noisy.
5. Coke--Is not Chinese.
6. Hobos--I rather want to be one.
7. Grilled Cheese Sandwhich--Is delicious.
8. Blink 182--....drool.
9. Yellow--Is beautiful.
10. Kangaroo--makes really soft leather.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I have just started working as a model at my local Hollister Co. Not gonna lie--when you work the floor at Hollister, people look at you. This is for several reasons.

1. They are trying to figure out if Hollister EVER hires ugly people/if Hollister would really fire you if you gained five pounds.
2 They are looking at all your labels to see if you are wearing anything that did NOT come from Hollister.
3. They are wondering if what you are wearing would look good on them.

I can't really say that I mind being looked at. PLUS I get a pretty sweet employee discount.

However, none of the guys who work there are good enough for me. SAD DAY!

Other unfortunate jobs I have had:

1. Terrible Tyler's Babysitter (Every Thursday evening and often Saturdays all day. This gig came complete with a turtle named Snappy)
2. I had my own business selling knit hats and scarves as well as quilted bags. (HA! Bet you never guessed that I could quilt, did you!)
3. Vacuuming out cars (GROSS JOB!!! You never know what you will find under someone's seats. UGH!!!!!)
4. My great-grandmother was in private business until the day she died. She used to hire me to answer her phone and make dinner while she took a nap.
5. Dishwasher at Cafe Mantra. (My friend who got to actually make sandwiches and coffee paid me a quarter every time I shouted "tips are good karma" at a customer. I could only do this when my manager was not paying attention.)
6. Artwork commissions. I've done this a few times. boring.

and the best one

7. Farm Girl. Yeah--I worked for my grand-dad. Fed the cows and shoveled...poop.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Class From 12-1: boys, mail, green, facial hair, swearing, sex, and wasted beauty.

Twenty-eight observations

1. There are no boys on this college campus who are good enough for me.

2. There are four boys just in this class who are in desperate need of a hair cut.

3. The system puts junk mail in my box far too often. This is irritating beyond imagination because I get excited over "mail" when usually it is just a reminder that the bookstore is having a sale on greeting cards.

4. Wool coats seem to have a way of attracting golden retrievers and attaching to their fur. It's worse than burdocks.

5. Scantron quizzes are better than any other kind based on three things: 1) They are always T/F or multiple choice. 2) They are easy to guess on. 3) The profs grade them quickly.

6. The girl in front of me looks really pale in green.

7. She recently dyed her hair darker brown and I really don't feel that it looks wonderful on her.

8. I think that I am allergic to the third earring in my left ear.

9. There is old gum stuck under my desk and it's kind of grossing me out.

10. My green Roxy hoodie (which I am wearing) has milk on the sleeve and needs to be washed. Unfortunate, right? Laundry here costs an arm and a leg!

11. My Nalgene bottle is BPA free!

12. Keagan is sitting next to me.

13. Keagan is wearing a blue shirt.

14. Keagan is trying to grow facial hair.

15. Keagan is proving unsuccessful.

16. My pink nail polish from two weeks ago is almost completely gone.

17. It really bothers me when people swear for no reason. I swear to be funny or to make a point and only around certain people. Swearing for no reason is just sound pollution.

18. I have eaten nothing but fruit and milk all day.

19. My prof talks about sex way too much. Some of us are trying to keep clean minds here, dude. We don't want to hear it.

20. My great-aunt sent me a box full of chocolate chips and peppermints. I am not sure if there was supposed to be significance to this or not.

21. The dean of women wants have a chat with me tomorrow....(Perhaps this is more of a mis-observation because I can't figure out what I did wrong!)

22. There is a chunk missing out of the side of the black board. It makes me wonder how it happened. Was my prof throwing things around or did he get hungry...? Great mystery of the world, right.

23. White walls put me to sleep.

24. Ryan (two seats over from me) has very nice arms. He should wear short sleeves more often.

25. The green-shirt-girl's earrings are all spaced exactly the same distance apart. This is not appealing to my eyes. That's what she gets for having them done by a professional instead of an artist.

26. White snow puts me to sleep.

27. I stopped listening to my prof when he started talking about sex...again.

28. The guy across the room from me is actually more beautiful than a lot of girls I know. For real, he is measureably beautiful. He has massive, thick amounts of dark, durly hair, piercing brown eyes with insanely long, thick lashes, lips that look like michaelangelo sculpted them, daaang and his legs....don't even get me started. He has nice arms too, by the way. It's sad that so much beauty is wasted on a boy.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Turned on by Scent...this seems a little like highschool biology...

I have a friend who wears a musk cologne which, I admit, I find freakishly attractive. He's a pretty daaaarn good looking guy to begin with, and he dresses nice but when he wears that cologne I feel like I am completely drawn to him. I just want to bury my face in his neck and inhale for a few hours. It is an almost animal attraction which seems a bit disgusting if you think about it too much. Yesterday I was trying to take an exam when I caught the scent of someone (i think it was the guy next to me) wearing a similar musk and it literally made my mouth water.

Ten things which I find freakishly attractive in a male:

1. Not too tall. Taller than me (i am only 5'2") but no taller than six foot.

2. Nice clothes. I cannot stand the t-shirt/jeans combination. It does nothing for me. I think that the most attractive thing I have ever seen on a guy was when my friend wore a brown sweater over a purple, paisley button up (unbuttoned at the top) and dark blue skinny jeans. It was hott!!!!!

3. Nice arms. (drool) this includes the fact that they should not be too hairy. That's gross.

4. Well designed, well executed, artful, meaningful tattoos. These are the kind with a story and an artist behind them and oh my goodness....they win.

5. Intelligence--I like boys who are smarter than me. Which is rough because I am a smart girl. I am one of those nerds who like school and am persuing a doctorate degree. Yeah--finding guys is rough.

6. Guys who drink tea turn me on. Tea is frustratingly attractive.

7. Aviator sunglasses. Maybe it's because I wear them and I ROCK them that it drives me crazy when guys can do the same.

8. When they are fun to drive with. Moderately safe is usually appreciated. I like when his car smells good. I have one friend whose car always smells like peppermint Altoids. It is delicious. He also takes detours and talks with his hands while he drives. A diverse taste in music is also appreciated. I love hearing Flyleaf one minute and Jackson 5 the next. When a guy can keep me entertained and enjoying myself while he is driving, that is a MAJOR turn on.

9. Health conscious but not obsessive. I can deal with obsessive so long as he can deal with my french fry indulgences.

10. Freckles. These beautiful flecks of pigmentation are simply the sexiest thing I have ever seen. They instantly captivate me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

If I Have to Behave, So Do You!

There is a girl in one of my writing classes who I simply cannot take seriously. She over analyzes simply things and does not think deeply enough about things that actually have meaning. She takes simile and metaphor absolutely seriously.

I was sitting in this particular class on Monday night, trying to stay occupied because it is a three hour class and I was sitting next to my prof. But you must know--I love my prof. This girl, though, made a comment about one of the things which we have read and she had taken a metaphor absolutely seriously. The ridiculousness of her statement caused me to cover my face with my textbook so that she wouldn't see that I was laughing hysterically. My prof hit me on the knee with the back of her hand and tried to stifle a smile, scribbling a note to me on the corner of her notes. Danny, if I have to behave, so do you.

I asked my roommate the other day how many of our profs she thought had tattoos. Neither of us know of any for sure but seriously--there must be some. I have a wager on that my perfectly fabulous Monday night writing prof has a tramp stamp and that the dean of women has a rose on her ankle.

I found out a few years back that my pastor actually has a Mickey Mouse on his ankle. Interesting. People continuously surprise me.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ben and Jerry's

My friend brought me a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream the other day. It was the most inspiring ice cream ever. It was called Whirled Peace and had chocolate peace signs in it. It was delicious.

I had a dream that my friend Melissa came to visit me and I got my extra bed out and made up real nice and just after she came my sister popped in to stay the night too with her entire softball team. I wound up staying in my tiny dorm room with fifteen other girls plus my roomies. It only needed soul suckers, or someone peeling away pieces of my flesh, or gremlins to make it into a nightmare.

10 unfortunate things that have happened in the last six days

1. I screwed up my thumb while sledding.
2. I finished drawing my chrysalis for my tattoo--this would be great news except I do not have anything to draw on now.
3. My NTS professor decided to sing to us before class.
4. I was informed that dead bodies are as stiff as a 2x4.
5. I rescrewed my thumb while jumping down the stairs last night.
6. When I got dressed this morning I put on navy tights and black chucks. That turns me into an automatic fashion disaster.
7. My khaki pants are all dirty so I have to wear skirts for the rest of the week until I go home and do laundry.
8. Margarine.
9. My roommate put her bed on an incline.
10. She also stacked two desks on top of each other.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


I was in the lounge.
I was trying to draw.
I made a joke that might have been a little bit about sex.
Everyone laughed.
I resumed drawing and making jokes.
More people came into the lounge.
They started to watch a movie.
They turned off the lights.
You cannot draw with the lights off.
It doesn't work.

I'm screwed.

10 things we could do to make The Lord of the Rings into a really great horror movie

1. Give the Nazgul the ability to fly and be able to suck the blood out of hobbits and elves.
2. Give Saruman a chainsaw and set him loose in Hobbiton.
3. Make up a character for the girl from Saw (Amanda?) and put her in Saruman's tower along with the reverse bear trap device.
4. Make the orcs all eat each other on screen.
5. Make all the dead people come out of the dead marshes and begin chasing Sam and Frodo around until they fall into some body of water and drown.
6. Gimli and Legolas should be in a constant state of cutting off pieces of each others' flesh
7. Some kind of soul sucking ghost should haunt Aragorn after the death of Gandalf.
8.Give Eowyn the ability to see spirits.
9. In the final movie the king of Gondor should try to dispose of his son (Faramir who is almost dead but not really) by putting his body through some kind of twisted torture machine. Gandalf could stop this by throwing the king into his own machine and saving Faramir.
10. Insert gremlins.

I'm still screwed.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Seven Dollars

Yesterday I found seven dollars in the pocket of my jeans.

Ten Things a College Student Can Do With Seven Dollars

1. Buy two medium vegetarian pizzas from Dominos using the double discount I get from being a college student and sending Laura (who works there) to pick them up.
2. Insert into tattoo jar and do not touch again until July.
3. One and a half loads of laundry.
4. Admission for the spring play on two nights.
5. Buy two medium caramel machiatto coffees at the campus cafe or two mint frappechinos at the Starbucks at the bottom of the hill.
6. Buy post-it notes and Bic Mark-it pens.
7. Garnier Fructis fiber gum putty and hair spray
8. Enough earrings to give all of the ones I have in a break for a while....maybe I could make all of my hoops match instead of having some silver, some gold and all different sizes.
9. Pay Brit back for gas from when she took me up to see E last week...hmm...
10. Dinner for myself at Panera Bread.

number one is out--I do not eat pizza after nine o'clock and that is the time my super discount starts.
number two is valid
number three is out--I hate the wash machines here.
number four is valid because I actually get free admission at least once so it might not even take my entire seven dollars.
number five is out--I'm trying not to drink coffee.
number six is out because I just bought new drawing pens so I cannot justify spending more money on markers.
number seven....I'll keep using Kate's
number eight is very valid. It irritates me to no end that my hoops do not match when I wear them.
number nine........that one's probably my best choice. She did do me a huge favor and drove me eight hours.
number ten is delicious.

What would you do with seven dollars?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Let's Play a Game and Talk About World Peace

I was reading some of my Kite's old blog posts and I know most of you don't read both of our blogs and whatnot but I just wanted to clarify that before Kite was piercing her own ears--I was teaching her how to do it. I just thought of that because I just took out all of my earrings and created a small mountain on my desk in front of me.

Alright--today we are going to play a game. The following is a list of news stories. Which ones are true, which ones are false.

1. Obama bumps his head.
2. Tolstoy's tomb found emptied by grave robbers.
3. Man, 47 marries girl, 8.
4. Low rainfall produces llama anxieties in Peru.
5. Plane crash victim follows light beam to safety.
6. Terrorists bomb San Fransisco sushi bar.
7. Whales a highlight of aquarium yoga class.
8. Low acid diet may prove effective in combatting cancer.
9. Fans serious about porn star for senate.
10. Blink 182 plans reunion.

Ok--quick write down your answers and get ready.

The odd numbers are all true....and the even ones are all false with one exception. Now we will discuss.

1. Obama bumps his head.
This sort of reminds me of a few years ago when George Bush choked on a pretzel during the superbowl and it made national news. That made me wonder how many hundreds of people in the world choke on pretzels on superbowl night, leading to how many pretzels Americans actually eat on superbowl night, leading to why the heck George Bush was eating pretzels in the first place when, as president, he probably could have been eating something much more interesting and something involving seven different kinds of cheese...unless--do you think that George Bush is lactose intolerant!??!?! And if George Bush is lactose intolerant what hasn't that made national news? If any American choked on a pretzel it would not be a headliner, it would be boring. They could just publish a few pages of names of people who choked on pretzels. It should definately be headlined that George Bush is lactose intolerant. .......I think that I should also bring into consideration that the bumping of Obama's head might reduce his abilities to be president. We can blame anything bad on his head injury.

2. Tolstoy's tomb found emptied by grave robbers.
I made this one up...but I do believe that it would be a most thrilling hypothetical situation.

3. Man, 47 marries girl, 8.
Yeah--this is real. I watched the video on CNN. You can watch it too if you really want but I'll sum it up here. THIS IS DISGUSTING! My SISTER is eight and--UGH!--I can't even think about it. This girl was given in marriage in order to pay off her father's debt. Some cases of arranged marriage I'm ok with. In some places kids get married at thirteen or fifteen or whatever but then they continue to be nurtured by a family and usually there is not a forty year age gap between them. This is just SICK! What sort of pervert would want to marry an eight year old? She's just a little girl, probably scared out of her mind. And, while he had to sign a thing that said he wouldn't have sex with her until she hits puberty--she is still not being nurtured and brought up by a mom and dad and she's tied for life to this creepy old man and who knows what he's going to do to her! This really grosses me out. Our world's got issues.

4. Low rainfall produces llama anxieties in Peru.
I was a little bit fond of this one...partially because I love llamas, and partially because I love Peru. Peruvian food is actually really good.

5. Plane crash victims follow light beam to safety.
I didn't actually read this one, I just thought it sounded funny so I stole the headline. I did find it interesting that i can't seem to spell the word safety. I forget the e 96% of the time.

6. Terrorists bomb San Fransisco sushi bar.
I made this one up. What a waste it would have been. Good sushi should not be wasted.

7. Whales a highlight of aquarium yoga class.
This inspired pictures of humpbacks, blues, and great whites all humming together in harmony while they flexed and stretched to the essence of sea breeze and the sounds of wind and waves. I love it.

8. Low acid diet may prove effective in combatting cancer.
This should be news. It's true. My friend's dad did not do chemo, he just sticks to a very strict low acid diet and his cancer is in complete remission. Something to do with how cancer can only survive with enough acid in your system....a lot of times there are better ways to do things than treating your body with harsh chemicals.

9. Fans serious about porn star for senate.
And they wonder why I have issues respecting people. I do not want a senator who has been in front of a camera naked. I want a senator with integrity, modesty, and dignity. This disgusts me about society. UGH!

10. Blink 182 plans reunion.

The time has come my friends, I DID NOT MAKE THIS ONE UP!!!!!! Is that not the most deliciously fantastic news you have ever heard? I LOVE it! LOVE it!

So....the former president is lactose intolerant, grave robbers are getting desperate, lots of people are perverted, Peruvian food is delicious, safety has an e in it, good sushi is too often wasted, I am not wasted, yoga and sealife are invigorating, cancer is taking over the world, people have poor judgment and little dignity, and society is screwed up.....BUT BLINK 182 IS REUNING!!!!

Friday, February 6, 2009

My Freakin' Roommate...

I am not an emotional person.


My roommate is....let me put it this way--I do not have to worry about the lack of television at college because I get a really great soap opera in my room 24/7. It is a beautiful thing. People come up to me all the time and say things like, "How do you do it?" and "Are you losing your sanity yet?". I simply laugh at them because quite frankly--I LOVE IT. She makes me laugh because she is just like a cartoon character or something.

Ten things about my roommate
1. She has a crush on every boy.
2. She sleeps about once a semester when she mentally crashes and doesn't wake up for four days.
3. She truly believes that she is everyone's angel of mercy and wisdom.
4. She wants to get married more than anything in the world.
5. She has not managed to secure herself a boyfriend even though she is pretty desperate.
6. She showers daily but has only washed her sheets once this year...and right now they are not even on her bed...what the heck did she do with them?
7. She forgets about things like WEST CIV EXAM TOMORROW!
8. She has a job in admissions calling poor, helpless high school students and telling them that they should come to our college. It is the perfect job for her. She gets to sit in a room with a boy, talking on the phone and harassing people who she doesn't know.
9. She is in college and I am pretty much positive that she still needs a mommy. Her parents send her freaking money all the time. I have to remind her to pick up after herself. She thinks that the cafeteria food is delicious.
10. She will laugh at anything.

She is probably the most sanguine person I have ever met in my life. It is hilarious.

Recently I left school for a week and a half quite suddenly (hence--my lengthy internet absence) we had a family tragedy and I had to be there for my beloved cousin. While I was gone, I kept in touch with everyone via telephone. I called up one of my friends one evening after I had been gone for about five days:

Me: Hey! E, how are you? What's up at school?
E:'re not missing much. Our Monday night class was ridiculously long yesterday. We went over the time by like 12 minutes. Oh...and your roommate's a mess. Like you should see your room, you cannot even see the floor...and she starts crying whenever someone says your name.

I laughed for a while....and prayed fervently that my floor would be visible by the time I get back. I might be an artist, but I hate extreme mess. I figured a few days later that it might be a good idea to call up the roomie and see if she was thinking of doing any cleaning in the near future:

Me: Hey!
Roomie: (bursts into tears)
Me: alright?
Roomie: (sobs) Yes (sob) it's just (sob) so good (sob) to hear your voice!
Me: OooK...How are you?
Roomie: It's terrible here without you, Danny. (sob....choke....sob) I've been waking up late. (sob) And I never know what to wear. (SOB)

Remember that point I made about her needing a mommy....I think that somehow I became the mommy and didn't realize it....and my child is actually older than me.

My question would be--"What the heck is she going to DO without me next year?"

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Epic Frustration of Taking an Online Creative Writing Course With the Dean of Women and an Assortment of Friendless Homeschooled Girls

I am taking a creative writing course online this semester and I find myself enjoying it--really. I have only a short list of complaints.

1. The course is being taught by the Dean of Women who will call me into her office and offer me harsh "guidance" if she deems any of my content inappropriate. The trick is figuring out what the heck "inapproriate" means.

2. It is a fourteen week course which we are shoving into eight. Thus, we have work due EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY!!!! This is more work than I have to do for any of my other classes.

3. The other seven people in my class are all girls except for one. I have never gotten along with girls. Plus the other seven people in my class are all good writers....they just do not write about new and interesting things. Now, every topic which I write about may not be an opening to the window of the unknown--but I do try to put a new spin on things.

Writing prompt Wednesday: Write about something your family wittnessed together but you must write from the point of view of someone else in your family.

I wrote about my great-grandmum.

For Friday: Write a short story involving three people.

Girl 1. Wrote about three little girls who got scared at a sleepover--ok, whatever, I can deal with that.
Girl 2. Wrote a weird fantasy piece about a girl who turns into a tree when her best friend disses her--It was weird, it was hard to understand, and I didn't really like the characters or get to know them very well.
Girl 3. Wrote about an old man who dies in a house full of cats while one cat in particular tries to comfort him--my first thought after reading this thing was "Oh my goodness, that is truly disgusting." Maybe it's because I hate cats and I'm not a huge fan of old people....but the piece really grossed me out. It wasn't badly written, it was just a really ew ew ew ew ewww thing to write about....and not in a good way. I can totally take gross, death, violence--but not that. Last week my friend wrote me a piece about a kid who electrocuted himself in the bathtub with a toaster--I loved it. It was emotional and well written. The thing about the cats and the old man was simply disgusting. The other girls in the class left these comments, "This was really interesting. I loved how you characterized the cat. It was really sweet.", "I really enjoyed this. I love cats and it's so cool how they know when you're sick or something. ", and "This was such a nice piece of work. I loved the character of the cat..." When I finished reading the piece, my first reaction was regretting ever reading it because I was now stuck with all these images of hundreds of cats eating the carcass of an old man when they ran out of food and his neighbors hadn't missed him yet. It was disgusting and the rest of the class thought it was cute....Somehow--I don't get it.

I wrote about a personal experience (though I didn't tell anyone else that) where I met one of my very good friends. He came up to me and told me that we should be friends and I agreed (alright facebook had been involved beforehand but still...), we went out for coffee, and bonding took place. It really happened. I made it emotional, relateable, and I wrote it in his words exactly as I could picture him saying them. The theme was the mystery of such an instant, bonding friendship. Granted--it was not one of my best works. It was not even one of my good works, but I didn't feel that it was terrible.

Cat Girl is the only one to have commented on my work thus far. She said,
-My character wasn't mysterious enough
-The situation was too awkward
-No one is really that bold to just walk up to a girl and tell them that they should be friends and ask her to coffee, and if it did happen, no girl would say yes.

I sort of felt as though this girl didn't get the point of my story. The mystery was the friendship--not the character. The situation was SUPPOSED to be awkward. AND OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE ARE BOLD ENOUGH TO WALK UP TO A GIRL AND ASK HER TO BE FRIENDS AND DO COFFEE BECAUSE IT FREAKIN HAPPENED TO ME!!!!! AND I SAID YES!!!!

Aside from that--she wrote about an old man who died in a house full of cats and it grossed me out. It makes me wonder a little if she has any friends.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Not Extinct

I dread cleaning up after Christmas.

I hate having to put away all the ridiculous lights and breakable objects, load them all back into boxes, and get them up the ladder into the attic. It's a pain in the butt to put it lightly. Usually I make plans to be out of the house the day after new years in order to avoid this irritating and painful annual chore.

This morning I was the only one home.

I climbed up the allergen-covered ladder to the attic and began to throw boxes down to the floor. Behind the boxes was a surprise!!!


How awesome! I totally didn't know my attic contained such wonders. I hauled it out and spent the next hour covering its holes with duck tape, vaccuuming the cover, and scrubbing it with Resolve.

Can anyone say--"Happy College Student?"

Bean bag chairs are magic for dorm rooms. They stow in a corner and can be dragged out for visitors or intense chill time.